What To Do When You Want Different Things In Bed
If you don’t talk about it, your relationship will begin to break. Mismatched sexual goals – whether it be conflicting libido or completely different sexual quirks, and not that you want her on even days of the calendar, and she wants a handsome guy from the neighboring department – different tastes in sex are a common problem in romantic relationships.
Often these kinds of conflicts are not discussed openly, and partners often suffer in silence instead of engaging in dialogue.
What To Do When You Want Different Things In Bed
Different level of attraction – When You Want Different Things
There is a stereotype that men always want sex, so for a woman with a high sexual desire, it can be terrible to hear her partner say that sex is not very important for him. She may feel that he is no longer attracted to her or that she did something wrong and is now biting her nails instead of discussing this issue.
For guys who are in partnership with a girl who wants less sex or she is generally not particularly interested in her, this is a difficult test. Here’s how to watch The Game of Thrones with her, watch and understand that even there they fuck more than you do in real life, and yet half of them are relatives.
You can often hear people understand that a partner portrays a headache or agrees to sex only in cases when she broke some expensive thing or fell asleep. But with an excess of porn, men are no longer so eager to try to climb under the skirts of everyone. Asexuality is also scary.
Do not be shy – When You Want Different Things
You should feel comfortable talking about uncomfortable things. Regardless, you are a girl, or a guy, or – what’s worse – all at once. If there is sexual inequality in your relationship, it is vital that both partners are willing to communicate openly and not hide problems under the carpet. Sexual conflicts rarely improve over time, much less improve on their own.
For many people, talking about sex seems awkward or embarrassing. Partners “hold back” when discussing their sex life. This is a real shame, but also a cultural issue. The more frankly and positively talk about sex, the easier it will be to carry on awkward conversations in the future. Wherever and whenever you talk about sex, you should do it without conviction, with ease and not over the speakerphone.
What is the basis of these emotions – When You Want Different Things
Some sexual differences are obvious from the very beginning: you had to listen when she said that she likes it harder and draw some conclusions, and not just beat her in the kitchen.
Whatever your specific differences, you need to find out what drives them. Resentment? Rejection? Disgust? Desire to hurt? Learning the feelings may seem difficult, but it is always worth the effort to make it pleasant later.
When it comes to sexual problems, there are no universal solutions. Many people with sexual conflicts seek an easy answer in their relationship. They want the expert to directly tell them whether they should have sex and how to do it.
They want to know which partner should compromise or give more. Even in such a thing as sex, a person is lazy and does not want to do anything; here he is a partner, here you are – it would seem, take it and do it, but no.
Different pairs have different goals.
Which can change the decisions of a particular situation. One of the couples could be helped by porn (watching it, not shooting in it), while couples open to experimentation might try to see others. All people are different and, accordingly, someone is combined with someone, while someone is not, you do not need to write it off. Sex is incredibly important or stupid.
Not a big deal.
A problem arises only when one or both sides decide that their partner’s feelings do not matter. If your partner does not want sex, his feelings are important. And if your partner wants sex – and this is important.
But if a person does not want sex, and you neglect it – this is a negative action, it is sometimes called rape. Every time we forget our partner’s feelings or decide that our feelings are more important, we create a gap in the relationship.
Sex is not a place for selfishness – When You Want Different Things
It’s great when you think about sex, that’s fine. But you should not expect that your half will think about the same all day: you need to ask yourself and each other what each thing means to you.
You may have to change the way you look at sex and intimacy, take a shower and cut your nails more often (which sacrifices you won’t make for love).
For some people, communication and intimacy are interchangeable, and they have no problems communicating with their partners. But for others, using sex and intimacy interchangeably creates problems.
Be able to say goodbye to people
If the partner’s position with regard to sex is that he simply needs to “let go”, he should think about letting him go. Sex is not the most important aspect of a relationship, but for some people it’s too important to give it up. Healthy partnerships do not imply that the other person will simply refuse any questions for his soul mate and will not even be able to pretend that he is trying to somehow improve everything.
Either he wants the partner to stop wanting something, or if there is an unwillingness to make concessions, then such an alliance must be stopped. Yes, this is unpopular advice, but if you do not use therapy, trials and mistakes anywhere, then there is nothing to be done.