Four stages of life: Ways To Stop Making Bad Decisions
In order to feel the fullness of life, to tell yourself once that you have lived it for a good reason, you need to go through four stages of formation. Know yourself, your desires, accumulate experience and knowledge, pass them on to others. Not everyone succeeds. But if you see yourself among those who have successfully completed all these steps, you can consider yourself a happy person.
What is this stage?
STAGE ONE: IMITATION – Ways To Stop Making Bad Decisions
We are born helpless. We can’t walk, talk, feed ourselves, take care of ourselves. At this stage, we have an advantage: we learn faster than ever. We are programmed to learn new things, observe and mimic others.
Initially we learn to walk and talk, then we develop and improve social skills by observing and copying peer behavior. Finally, we learn to adapt to society, observing the rules and norms and trying to choose the lifestyle that is considered acceptable for our circle. – Ways To Stop Making Bad Decisions
The meaning of the First stage is to learn how to function in society. Parents, educators, and other adults help us achieve this by instilling the ability to think and make decisions.
But some adults did not learn this themselves. Therefore, they punish us for the desire to express our opinion, they do not believe in us. If there are such people nearby, we are not developing. We are stuck in the First stage, imitating others, trying to please everyone so that we are not judged.
In a good scenario, the first stage lasts until late adolescence and ends when it enters adulthood – about 20 or so. Some awaken one day at the age of 45 with the realization that they never lived for themselves.
To pass the first stage means to learn the standards and expectations of others, but to be able to act against them when we feel that it is necessary.
SECOND STAGE: SELF-KNOWLEDGE -Ways To Stop Making Bad Decisions
At this stage, we learn to understand what makes us different. The second stage requires making decisions independently, testing yourself, understanding yourself and what makes us unique. This stage contains many errors and experiments. We try to live in a new place, spend time with new people, test our body and its sensations.
During my Second Stage, I went on a trip and visited 50 countries. My brother hit politics. Each of us goes through this stage in his own way.
The second stage continues until we begin to run into our own limitations. Yes, there are limitations – no matter what Deepak Chopra and other psychological “gurus” tell you. But actually discovering your own weaknesses is great. – Ways To Stop Making Bad Decisions
No matter how you try, something will still turn out badly. And you need to know what it is. For example, I am not genetically inclined to become a great athlete. I spent a lot of strength and nerves to figure this out. But as soon as awareness came to me, I calmed down. This door is closed, so is it worth breaking into it?
Some classes simply do not suit us. There are others that we like, but then we lose interest in them. For example, live like a tumbleweed. Change sexual partners (and do it often), hang out at the bar every Friday, and much more.
Not all of our dreams can come true, so we must carefully choose what we should really invest in and trust ourselves.
Limitations are important because they lead us to understand that our time is not infinite and we must spend it on something important. If you are capable of something, this does not mean that you should do it. If you like certain people, it does not mean that you should be with them. If you see many possibilities, this does not mean that you should use all of them.
Some promising actors at the age of 38 work as waiters and wait two years each when they are invited to audition. There are startups who for 15 years have never been able to create something worthwhile and live with their parents. Some people cannot establish a long-term relationship because they feel that they will meet someone better tomorrow.
At some point, we must admit: life is short, not all our dreams can come true, so we must carefully choose what we should really invest in and trust in our choice. -Ways To Stop Making Bad Decisions
People stuck in Stage Two spend most of their time convincing themselves of the opposite. “My possibilities are endless. I can overcome everything. My life is continuous growth and development. ” But it is obvious to everyone that they are simply treading water. These are eternal teenagers, always looking for themselves, but not finding anything.
THIRD STAGE: COMMITMENT – Ways To Stop Making Bad Decisions
So, you groped your boundaries and “stop-zones” (for example, athletics or culinary art) and realized that some activities no longer bring satisfaction (parties until the morning, hitchhiking, video games). You are left with what is really important and good at it. Now it’s time to take our place in the world.
The third stage is the time of consolidation and farewell to everything that is not worth your strength: with friends who distract and pull back, hobbies that take time, with old dreams that will not come true. At least in the near future and the way we expect.
Now what? You invest in something that you can achieve the greatest results in, relationships that are truly important to you, one main mission in your life – to defeat the energy crisis, become a great game designer or educate two tomboys.
Those who are fixated on the Third stage, usually can not give up the constant pursuit of more
The third stage is the time to maximize your potential. This is what you will be loved, respected and remembered for. What do you leave behind? It doesn’t matter if it is a scientific research, a new technological product or a loving family, to go through the third stage means to leave behind the world a little different than it was before your Ways To Stop Making Bad Decisions
It ends when a combination of two things occurs. Firstly, you feel that you have done enough and you are unlikely to surpass your achievements. And secondly, you got old, tired and began to notice that you most want to sit on the terrace, sipping martinis and solving crosswords.
Those who are fixated on the Third stage, usually can not abandon the constant pursuit of more. This leads to the fact that in their 70 or 80 years they will not be able to enjoy peace, remaining excited and unsatisfied.
THE FOURTH STAGE. HERITAGE
People find themselves at this stage, spending about half a century on what was most significant and important. They worked well. They have earned everything they have. Perhaps they created a family, a charitable foundation, made a revolution in their field. Now they have reached an age when strength and circumstances no longer allow them to climb higher.
The purpose of life in the Fourth stage is not so much in striving for new things, but in ensuring the preservation of achievements and the transfer of knowledge. This can be family support, advice to young colleagues or children. Transfer of projects and credentials to students or proxies. This may mean increased political and social activity – if you have influence that you can use for the good of society.
The fourth stage is important from a psychological point of view, because it makes an ever-growing awareness of one’s own mortality more tolerant. It is important for everyone to feel that his life means something. The meaning of life that we are constantly looking for is our only psychological defense against the incomprehensibility of life and the inevitability of our own death.
To lose this meaning or to deflect it while there was an opportunity is to face oblivion and let it devour us.
WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT?
Each stage of life has its own characteristics. We cannot always control what is happening, but we can live consciously. Consciousness, understanding of one’s position on the path of life is a good vaccine against unsuccessful decisions and inaction.
In the first stage, we are completely dependent on the actions and approval of others. People are unpredictable and unreliable, so the most important thing is to understand as early as possible what the words are, what are our strengths. We can teach this to our children as well.
In the second stage, we learn to rely on ourselves, but are still dependent on external incentives – we need rewards, money, victories, and conquests. This is something we can manage, but in the long run, fame and success are also unpredictable.
In the Third Stage, we learn to rely on proven relationships and paths that have proven reliable and promising in the Second Stage. And finally, the Fourth stage requires that we can consolidate our position and hold onto our gains.
At each subsequent stage, happiness becomes more subject to us (if we did everything right), based more on our internal values and principles and, to a lesser extent, on external factors. If you have determined what stage you are at, you will understand what you should concentrate on, where to invest resources and where to direct the steps. My circuit is not universal, but it works for me. Whether it works for you is up to you.