True Love Is Possible When You Are Not Afraid To Lose

True Love Is Possible When You Are Not Afraid To Lose

Sometimes things happen that are very difficult to explain ..

Psychologists believe that we select our first partners almost involuntarily – our subconscious says about their attractiveness, based on those patterns and dynamics that we absorbed in childhood in our own family, as well as on certain genetic predispositions. And sometimes all this is more than obvious.

But sometimes things happen that are very difficult to explain: for example, when a kind and sweet girl from a good family, whose childhood was quite pleasant and cloudless, picks up an explicit sociopath as a partner, after which she deals with manifestations of his darkest side of personality. It was as if someone from above decided that her life was too easy and pleasant, and she just needed to go to the bottom.

True Love Is Possible When You Are Not Afraid To Lose

For many women, painful and traumatic relationships and related life experiences are part of what shaped their personality and character. It is amazing how some women are able to humiliate and insult themselves by choosing a person to whom, it would seem, they should not have come up to a cannon shot.

And after going through all this, they begin to hate men in general, are disappointed in love and lose faith in humanity. Only with the passage of time (and that is not a fact) do they begin to realize that in fact it is not that all men are initially bastards and scum. That it’s not about men at all. The point is in them.

Most of these women do not love and value themselves enough. That is why they allow toxic partners to pour mud on them and wipe their feet on themselves.

In addition, many women are terribly afraid of being left alone. They can be strong and independent, own their own housing, cars and decent savings, and still consider that they lack something, that their life will be real and full only when someone “completes” it — anyone, if only this man drowned out the fear of loneliness.

True Love Is Possible When You Are Not Afraid To Lose

Yes, the brain is trying to find an excuse for why you are so attached to this person, no matter what, and most often he manages to convince you that all this is because you love him. But actually it is not love. Not love at all. It is nothing more than affection. Creepy and heavy love affection. With her, you always feel as if in hell – it does not matter whether you are together or separately.

True love is possible only when you are not afraid to lose your partner. Yes, you may be sad without him, you may feel lonely when he is not nearby, but when you are far from each other, you should not experience any panic or despair. When you feel confident in yourself and your own feelings, when you are free from subconscious madness, you know for sure that you absolutely do not have to suffer, and this makes no sense.

You can always give up pain by replacing it with something else. Something that will bring joy and pleasure. And when you make this choice consciously, you stop letting fear control your life. Neither fear of being left alone, nor fear of the unknown, nor fear that they will abandon you, nor other fears, are any more dominant over you.

When you sink to the bottom, realizing that there’s nowhere to fall below, and begin your long journey up, you have no real reason to choose the dependence again.

True Love Is Possible When You Are Not Afraid To Lose

I know this is easier said than done, because it is very difficult to change deeply embedded in the subconscious beliefs and patterns. But … but you have to do it.

Yes, it can take you many years, and all these years you may very well spend alone. But this is the only way to break the vicious circle, over and over again pulling you into a toxic relationship, although in fact you deserve much more. After you take the first step after breaking up with the person who turns your life into hell, you will certainly enter the phase of “breaking up” filled with emotional suffering, which can sometimes be very painful. If you realize that you can barely cope with this, it is not at all necessary to do this alone – consult a psychologist or psychotherapist. They will help.

And never forget that your main goal is to become an adult, independent and self-sufficient person. If after a period of pain and torment a more peaceful and dignified life follows, it is well worth it to suffer.