5 Situations You Should Not Change Yourself In Relationship

5 Situations You Should Not Change Yourself In Relationship

In a relationship, it is impossible not to fall under each other’s influence, and there is nothing wrong with that. Inconvenience occurs when one of the partners begins to put pressure on the other, demanding certain changes from him, or when you yourself realize that in order to continue your relationship you need to change something in yourself.

It is extremely difficult to distinguish a healthy desire to become better from a banal sacrifice in favor of a loved one. But there are several situations in which you should seriously think about whether you need such changes.

5 Situations You Should Not Change Yourself In Relationship

1 When you are asked to give up loved ones – You Should Not Change Yourself In Relationship

We all begin to build relationships, already having with us a certain circle of communication – our family, friends, friends and good acquaintances. Remember that with the same settings you will have to get out of the relationship when something goes wrong. And you will complain about life not to your partner, but to your friend over a glass of something stronger.

So, contacts with loved ones must be protected. Even the greatest love does not deserve to break long-term communication with those people who always tried to support you and participated in your life. But here we need a reservation: a partner that respects you will never ask you to spoil relations with dear people. On the contrary, he will try to become part of your family, and not deprive you of it.

If you are asked to refuse to communicate with a person who plays a significant role in your life, you need to reconsider your view of relationships, because most likely they are toxic now.

2 When ultimatums are set for you – You Should Not Change Yourself In Relationship

“Either I, or your meeting of classmates – choose.” If you think that such ultimatums do not occur in real life, you can congratulate you: everything is more or less adequate in your relations. And be sure, the example of a graduate meeting is still very humane.

If you can be attributed to the number of those unfortunates who have to deal with such conditions, you can only sympathize. Well, and advise you to abandon attempts to build healthy relationships with a person who constantly puts you in front of such a difficult choice.

3 When a partner is not happy with your interests, not character traits

For example, your partner is annoyed that you spend most of your free time on your hobby, and not on communicating with him. In this case, having correctly compiled the claim, he can convince you that certain traits of your character interfere with your relationship. Suppose you spend several evenings a week in the gym, putting yourself in order.

Your partner has completely different plans for your free time, and, trying to change the situation in his favor, he can tell you that you are too passionate about your hobby or put sports in the first place, and already in second or even third – relationships. You will be asked to begin to change, but before you act, try to understand the true motives of your loved one. Sometimes he is not happy with your character traits.

4 When you are asked to change, not for your own sake, but for the sake of someone

Relations are in any case a temporary interaction with another person. The only difference is that some couples manage to hold out for several weeks or months, and some retain a love for many years. On an “ongoing basis,” we contact only one person — with ourselves. Anyone who is accustomed to adequately assessing himself understands that he is not able to change someone but can direct himself to positive changes, thereby provoking his partner’s desire to improve.

In other words, a healthy relationship is the ability of a partner to accept another as he is, while not trying to suppress his own personality in any way. Psychologists say that you need to change only for your own sake, and not for the sake of another person so that the changes really benefit you.

5 When you are trying to make “perfection” – You Should Not Change Yourself In Relationship

A healthy relationship is the ability to accept the imperfections of another person, to forgive him for the mismatch of your beliefs and values. Love should not be flexible and sacrificial, as your partner might try to convince you. The one who really loves you will love your flaws because there are no ideal people.

You need to worry if you understand that they always want to see you perfect – not late, always cheerful, happy, tidy, sociable. Be careful with relationships in which you constantly want to “correct” one way or another.