How To Build Relationships In The Family

How to build relationships in the family: Tips and tricks for everyone.

Relations in the family: for some, this phrase draws pictures saturated with a warm palette; for others, they are filled with pain, tears … How to establish relationships in the family? How to restore former happiness?

Family – a marina of love, hope, warmth, mutual understanding, mutual support, and unlimited happiness … Many of these people have often imagined such paintings, thinking about the happiness that awaits them next to their loved ones, but, unfortunately, most often, the situation unfolds completely in a different light: mutual reproaches, omissions, lies, swearing, hatred …

Sometimes it seems that dreams of a bright future just dreamed of. But one wants to believe that the very recent happiness and love can be so easily and simply returned. Unfortunately, it just won’t work out that way. In order to establish family relations, it is necessary to really, really try, and this should not be done by only one: spouse or spouse, but both. Only in this case, is there a chance that happiness will return to your home.

Relations in the family: we understand the problems, analyze, draw conclusions

Each person, without exception, wants to be loved and happy, dreams of creating his own island of happiness, which is always warm, sunny, and comfortable, but. Not everyone succeeds in achieving this. The concept of “happy family life” is a phrase that everyone perceives in his own way. This is a kind of ghostly image of a philosophical concept, which can often be heard in everyday life, it does not have an exact definition, but everyone strives to achieve this image.

What needs to be done in order to become happy? How to establish family relationships?

In family relations, there are two main participants: husband and wife, so in order for the relationship to be good (we will not even talk about the possibility of creating ideal relationships), warm and bring happiness to all family members, the man must know how to establish relations with his wife, and woman, respectively, how to improve relations with her husband .

But, before proceeding in more detail to the advice, it should be said that to establish relations is possible only in those cases if:

1. Husband and wife are aware of the fact that they will not succeed in re-educating each other, because they are already formed personalities with their perception of the world around them.
2. Husband and wife are able to sincerely and truly appreciate each other’s talents and abilities.
3. Spouses want to give each other the maximum of their time and attention.
4. Spouses are prepared to avoid criticizing each other’s minor flaws.
5. The husband and wife are always polite to each other.
6. Both partners have a desire to understand the other, and both want to establish their family relationships.

If all of the above is present, you can begin self-analysis.

In order to understand how to improve relations with his wife, a man, first of all (for himself) must answer the following questions:

1. Do I also continue to care tenderly and tenderly for my wife to look after her, as I did before marriage? How often do I give her flowers, arrange unexpected surprises? Do I remember the memorable dates: her birthday, the anniversary of our wedding …?
2. How often do I criticize my wife with strangers?
3. Am I trying to help her when necessary? Do I support her in stressful situations?
4. Can I cheer her up when she is annoyed or tired?
5. Do I compare my spouse with other women: my mother, my former lover, if this comparison is not in favor of my wife?
6. Do I allow my wife to receive compliments, unobtrusive courtship from other men, without arranging a scene of jealousy?
7. How often do I show interest in the intellectual and spiritual life of my wife, including an interest in what she has been fond of recently? Do I know the circle of her acquaintances?
8. How often do I praise my wife, give her compliments, for example, about her culinary skills or the ideal order in the house?
9. Do I thank my wife for what she does for our family and me: cleaning, washing, cooking, raising children?
10. Do I notice the little things that she made, especially for me: sewed a button, ironed my shirt, cooked my favorite dish, made a romantic evening?

The spouse, conducting an introspection, must answer the following questions:

1. What am I doing to make my husband comfortable with me?
2. How often do I spend time with my beloved when he is around? Am I capable of unexpected, unplanned manifestations of tenderness and passion?
3. Do I know how to surprise, delight my husband with his appearance, or my culinary abilities?
4. How often do I do what he likes: spend time with him watching his favorite action movie or sports program, cook his favorite dishes?
5. Do I know anything about the interests of my spouse, his friends?
6. Am I making efforts to build relationships with my husband’s relatives?
7. How often do I suggest my husband spend time together, walking in the park, visiting exhibitions, cinemas?
8. Do I know what my husband wants from family life?
9. How do I look in the eyes of my husband’s friends? Does he feel inconvenience, embarrassment, appearing with me in the company of his friends?
10. Can I do anything to interest, my husband, surprise him, brighten up the routine of family life?

Such introspection will help both husband and wife to find gaps in their relationship, will encourage active actions, the desire to make changes in family relationships.

Tips for those who want to build relationships in the family

The analysis of the many problems that many couples face also allows us to highlight a few basic tips that will help them build relationships.

Rule 1. Do not be afraid to take responsibility. – Relationships In The Family

We were told from childhood that it is necessary to be able to admit our mistakes, to learn from them, in order to prevent them from happening in the future. In the case when the spouses begin to accuse each other of unpleasant situations, to shift the blame for their actions to another, this can lead to the breakdown of all relations.

Rule 2 . No conflict should be left without your attention.

Many couples, after the conflict, prefer just to make peace and forget about what happened. It is not right. Yes, undoubtedly, violent reconciliation after a long quarrel is what many couples strive for, but the conflict still took place, so there is no certainty that after some time after the reconciliation, it will not break out with renewed vigor. After reconciliation, it is very important that you restrain possible negative emotions and calmly discuss the cause of the conflict so that you can avoid it in the future.

Rule 3. Less hurt, more forgiveness, and understanding.

Resentment is a great way to influence your partner or partner: “since you did this, I won’t talk to you, or I’ll go for a walk …”. The main danger of resentment is the same as the danger of violent reconciliation: the causes of resentment are not fully understood; there was no “cold” and “reasonable” discussion of the situation. The fact that the spouses do not communicate for some time, or even do not see each other, does not mean that the conflict has been settled, relations have been restored and can continue without problems.

Rule 4. Learning to admit guilt. – Relationships In The Family

There is nothing better for your partner than understanding that you sincerely realized your mistake, admitted your guilt, did not try to argue or make excuses, and with your actions, you are trying to eliminate the consequences of an unpleasant situation.

In addition, a guilty plea is not a gift of your generosity, not a noble deed, not a favor, so you should not expect your remorse to cause a storm of emotions from your partner. It can be met and cold enough; however, in the future it will certainly be regarded as a positive moment in your relationship.

Rule 5. Criticism is not humiliation. It is a reason for self-improvement.

The culmination of the conflict, as a rule, lies in the fact that the couple expresses each other a lot of accusations, claims, grievances, but no one hears anyone. At this moment, one participant in the conflict is attacking, the second is defending, but none of them is able to analyze and understand what is happening.

At this point, the best solution is to pull yourself together and calm down. It is necessary to mentally put yourself in the shoes of a partner and analyze what he has said. It is very important to identify why this particular offense was expressed, why you were criticized for this, and not for any other reason. Realizing what your partner wants from you, you can soberly accept criticism by analyzing your own shortcomings.

Rule 6. Focus on the positives. – Relationships In The Family

Yes, we perceive the partner’s shortcomings more acutely than the virtues, and if we try to fight the weaknesses, then we cease to notice the virtues very quickly. Try to pay maximum attention to the merits of your partner; do not forget to give him compliments, say nice things. This, no doubt, will not go unnoticed.

Rule 7. Sincerity and openness – the key to happy family life.

Insincerity, isolation, lying, avoiding topics that are difficult to discuss – all this can lead to a complete collapse in a relationship. Yes, it is not possible to find out all the secrets of your partner, and there is no need. A certain balance must be observed here.

Rule 8. Relationship development is possible if partners are capable of self-development.

Never and in no way will relationships develop on their own. The development of relations requires constant attention, the participation of both partners in this process.

Relations between spouses require much more strength and attention than loneliness because when building relationships, they learn to give in to each other, take care of each other, and find a compromise.

Rule 9. Sexual relations may not be the only thing that holds a marriage together.

Yes, sex is undoubtedly an important part of marriage, and there is nothing wrong with the fact that spouses will try to diversify their sex life, add something new to it, but sex cannot be defined as the basis of marriage.

No matter how passionate, stormy, and unbridled sex is, he is not able to hold two people together in the same way as mutual sympathy, ability to sympathize, support, care, and love.

Rule 10. We develop the ability to say the word: “No.” – Relationships In The Family

There is no need to indulge all the unthinkable and sometimes absurd requirements of your partner. It is not necessary, for example, to report for each step taken, or for every sign of attention that has been given to you. By submitting to such total control, you demonstrate your failure, support such partner shortcomings as paranoia, fear, self-doubt.

Among the most popular reasons for divorce are:

– treason;

– dependence: gaming, computer, alcohol, drug;

– unwillingness or lack of ability to have children;

– physical violence in the family;

– loss of sexual desire for a partner;

– early marriage age (rash decision);

– lack of mutual understanding;

– financial difficulties.

Relationships in the family can be established only if both partners wish it. Otherwise, the only way out in this situation will be a complete breakdown of relations.

Yes, people do not always have much in common, everyone has their own territory, their own understanding of the world, their own desires and aspirations, but marriage is the middle ground, the existence of which is possible only with the ability of people to compromise, respect and understand another person.