During Halloween season People love making puns about spiders, ghosts, boos, vampires, witches, mummies, pumpkins, candy, and all the other things associated with this macabre holiday. Heck, people even like to dress up as puns (“cereal killer” and “taco belle” are a couple favorites). When it comes to Halloween puns, the possibilities are practically endless. However, we’ve limited the following list to the best and most groan-worthy. You might call them the scream of the crop.
What do you call a fat Jack-o-lantern? A plumpkin.
#SquadGhouls — Unknown
Why are skeletons always so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
Did you hear about the skeleton who could always tell when it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
“Have a gourd time on Halloween.” — Unknown
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock? He got ticks.
“Uni-candy corn.” — Unknown
“Bow down, witches.” — Unknown
“Fangs for the memories.”
“No body won the skeleton race.”
“Mummy of the year.”
Halloween Puns And jokes
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party? Because everyone was a goblin.
“Hey boo-tiful!” — Unknown
“If the broom fits, fly it.”
What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAAAAAAAINS.
Why wouldn’t the skeleton go in the haunted house? He had no guts.
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo boos.
What do you say when you’re having dinner with a skeleton? Bone appetit!
“Resting witch face.”
Did you hear about the guy who was bitten by a vampire? It was a pain in the neck.
Where does Dracula keep his savings? At the blood bank.
“If you’ve got it, haunt it.” — Rose Pressey
What do skeleton’s drink their tea in? Bone china.
“Creep it real.”
“If you’ve got it, haunt it.”
“Hey boo!” — Unknown
How do vampires sail? On blood vessels.
“Have a fang-tastic Halloween.”
What do you get if you divide a pumpkin’s circumference by it’s diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
“Life is gourd.” — Unknown
“Batty about you.” — Unknown
“Oh my gourd. I love fall.” — Unknown
What is zombie Shakespeare’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
“Do you play the trom-bone?”
“Trick or treat yo’ self.”
Why do vampires use mouthwash? They have bat breath.
Why wasn’t there any food left at the Halloween party? Everyone was goblin.
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
Why was the vampire interested in the New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
Why did the horseman from Sleepy Hollow go to business school? He wanted to get a head in life.
“Bugs and hisses.”
“Gimme all the boos.” — Unknown
“No body won the skeleton race.” — Unknown
“Getting kissed by a vampire is a pain in the neck.” — Unknown
“Where my ghouls at?”
“Bow down, witches.”
Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
“I like you because you’re kind of corny.” — Unknown
“Resting witch face.” — Unknown
Why are skeleton’s so bad at church music? They can’t play the organ.
“Too cute to spook.”
“Wicked awesome.” — Unknown
“Fangtastic.” — Unknown
“Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.”
Where does Dracula eat his lunch? At the casket-eria.
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon? A sour puss.
“No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!” — Unknown
“Bone to be wild.”
Why does every cemetery have a fence? People are dying to get in.
Where do mummies go for a swim? In the Dead Sea.
“Howl you doin’?”
“Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.” — Unknown
“I’m exorcsing.” — Unknown
“Lift your spirits!”
Why don’t ghouls like lentils? They prefer human beans.
“Give ’em pumpkin to talk about.”
“I’m a pain in the neck.”
“Keep calm & carry a wand.” — Unknown
Why couldn’t the skeleton watch horror movies? He didn’t have the stomach.
“Trick or Treat yo’ self” — Unknown
How does a member of a coven know what time it is? They look at their witch-watch.
“You make me batty.”
“I’m here for the boos.”
“Me & my ghoulfriends.” — Unknown
“Eat, drink and be scary.”
Where do Russians send bad ghosts? Do the ghoulag.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghoul-iet.
“What’s up my witches?”
“What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.” — Unknown
Who do skeleton’s learn about in history class? Napoleon Bone-a-part.
“Putting the ‘boo’ in booty.” — Unknown
“Happy Haunting, ghoulfriend.” — Unknown
“Oh my gourd!”
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