7 Difficult Truths About Relationships In Early Stage
About relations – it is hard work, daily work not only on your future together but also on yourself. Moreover, if in life you have developed the belief that the more experience you have, the easier it is for you to get some kind of activity, then in your relationships your experience and your knowledge have practically no value.
You can only help yourself in one case — if you stop denying the obvious things about relationships. Yes, they are not always pleasant and far from always fit into your usual picture of the world, but somehow, they are, and absolutely everything is equal before these truths.
7 Difficult Truths About Relationships In Early Stage
1 Your plans may change significantly over time
Man and his values are dynamic concepts. As a child, you dreamed about your ice cream trailer as a teenager – you dreamed of a career as a rock star, and now you suddenly wanted a strong family and freshly brewed coffee in the morning before work.
You can meet at a time when your life values, dreams and desires coincide, it would seem, perfectly. You may like to spend evenings watching TV shows, or, on the contrary, hang out with friends every weekend to meet the dawn in the mountains. But the common interests and vision of the future is not a guarantee that you will live your whole life soul to soul.
At some point, your girlfriend may well decide what she wants from life completely different, and this does not mean that she used to deceive you or that love prevented you from seeing reality. It’s just that people are changing, and if you began to present your future in different ways, you will need to make great efforts to maintain your relationship.
And sometimes it’s not worth it. Think yourself, would you be happy in a situation where one of you two would have to sacrifice your dreams or your comfort for the sake of the other?
2 You do not owe each other anything – Difficult Truths About Relationships
You are not a parent and his child, you are a couple, which means that decisions about help or assignment are made by you based on your own desire and available opportunities, and not on the basis of the principle “I signed up for it”. No one signed up for anything, the key to a happy relationship is dedication.
Everything is extremely simple: if you want your girlfriend to treat you with respect, respect her; if you want her to be honest with you, be honest with her. Dreaming of delicious dinners? If she works, she comes home tired – tries at least sometimes to meet her with a laid table or share her duties for two: she cooks, and you wash the dishes.
Treat your girlfriend as you would like her to treat you. If in life you’re always lying on the couch and aching that you haven’t been sewn up, it’s foolish of you to expect at least some activity from the girl. Well, unless she packs her bags.
Absolute Truths About Relationships
3 Building new relationships from the experience of old ones is a failure
Leave the past in the past – forgive the tautology. No matter what your past experience was (they broke your heart or, on the contrary, you had the relationship of your dreams), you have a completely different person who perceives everything differently.
Try to understand his inner world, and not just copy your behavior of past years. Your ex could be delighted with your weekend trips with friends, but the current girl can dream about how you sit at home and watch comedy while chewing pizza cooked in your own hands.
Yes, by the way, if your ex gave you a reason to be jealous, try not to turn the life of your new girlfriend into hell just because your past relationship did not work out.
4 Any, even the strongest relationship can bother you or end
Take it. Do not hit the illusion of the type “we love each other so much that we will live together until death.” Such a scenario is rarely realized, and there is a high probability that before meeting the “same” special person, your heart will be broken more than once.
Even if your relationship is an example of a strong and loving couple, you are still not immune to such commonplace things as a divergence of common interests, loss of feelings, and just boredom in a relationship. Do not blame either yourself or your other half for it – this happens to everyone.
5 Love is constant suffering and concessions – Difficult Truths About Relationships
People who are confident that love gives exclusively positive emotions are likely to be in a relationship precisely until the moment when their other half has any difficulties. Then they will run away, screaming something about nerve cells that cannot be restored, and freedom, which is better than the shackles of love. In general, as you already understood, building relationships with such people is more expensive for yourself.
Love is not only joy and happiness, but it is also the overcoming of suffering and life’s difficulties together with the second half. If one of you two is ill – the latter should be surrendered 100 percent, whether he likes it or not. Constant support, of course, is exhausting, but if you give your time to a person and spend your strength on it, you will get something more meaningful in return.
The Reality of Relationships
6 Love, similar to that shown in films, does not exist
The idealized image of a couple in films and books has nothing to do with the real situation. Yes, you can have beautiful dates, long conversations at night, coffee in bed and other attributes of a happy life.
But in reality, all this is often accompanied by all kinds of awkwardness, inconsistencies, things that usually do not bring to the public. Simply put, a relationship is about accepting each other as you really are, and not getting out of hand in order to match the high bar that mass culture has set for modern couples.
7 Pride in relationships needs to be learned to hold – Difficult Truths About Relationships
Probably, almost the hardest thing in a relationship is to accept that in some situations you have to calm down your pride and just apologize. Sometimes it requires you to push your own needs into the background.
It is this behavior that can characterize a person as mature and ready for a serious relationship.
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