6 steps to turn pain into learning
Pain, like happiness, brings us closer to our true selves. Both pain and happiness teach valuable lessons and guide us in our life paths.
Pain is an integral part of our life, as well as joy or pleasure. We are accustomed to believing that our painful experiences are a fatal accident, a whim of fate, but in reality it is a natural part of our existence. Therefore, no one will be able to avoid them. And no matter what efforts you put in for this, all of them will be tiring and useless.
6 steps to turn pain into learning
Pain, like happiness, brings us closer to our true self. Both pain and happiness teach valuable lessons and guide us in our life paths.
But often we ourselves turn pain into suffering. In that eternal bitter taste in the mouth, which we even begin to relish in a strange way. We suffer … because for some reason we are desperately looking for more and more suffering.
Suffering is an addition to pain, not pain itself
It’s not a bad idea to recall the past from time to time. And there is nothing wrong with the fact that sometimes you have a desire to be alone with your pain. We all periodically need such moments. Drink this drink alone with you. This is a meeting with your humanity.
What can really disturb in this situation is the whole burden that we take upon ourselves, climbing one of the steep mountains we have chosen. It makes you feel even more suffering. We add this additional burden to the shoulders at the moment when, for example, we inform that our grief will last forever, that it has no boundaries and has enslaved our whole will.
Transformation of pain into a learning experience
But here is the positive news: we are able to put an end to these “overtime” suffering. Moreover, we are able to transform their teaching experience, which will significantly increase our existential wisdom.
But how? Psychologist José Antonio Garcia-Monge believes that suffering is artificial, we take it upon ourselves and, accordingly, are able to get rid of it ourselves.
1. We need to acknowledge the pain. – Turn Pain Into Learning
Need to determine your pain. She is able to influence us mentally, socially, physically, existentially … There are various types of it, and you must be able to recognize them.
You must be able to look in the face of pain and stay at least alone for an instant with it. This should be a special meeting, which was already discussed earlier.
2. Have an honest conversation with her.
The pain does not appear by chance; its main goal is to warn that something went wrong as we wanted it to. And it destroys our peace of mind. Therefore, we need to understand where this pain comes from and why.
If you manage to answer these questions, this will already be a huge achievement. But in order to achieve this, you need to honestly listen to everything that the pain wants to tell. And it will be a bad idea if you try to run away from it or are inattentive to what the pain says.
If you want to chat with her, expose all your feelings and become extremely sincere.
3. Do not turn pain into suffering.- Turn Pain Into Learning
According to Garcia-Monge, “… pain sometimes burns some part of us. Suffering, however, has the power to destroy the entire human personality. ”
We transform our pain into suffering when we begin to project it in time. When we start to consider it infinite. In addition, we increase it with gloomy messages that we send to ourselves. Messages devoid of any hope.
4. Take responsibility for the pain.
This does not mean that you need to shoulder all the blame. Feeling guilty will not only bring peace, but will destroy its remnants. Acceptance of responsibility for your pain means recognition that you yourself increase it. What exactly are you responsible for the fact that drizzling rain, in the end, leads to flooding.
Shifting your responsibility to others is, again, a road to nowhere that will ultimately make you experience even greater pain. In fact, this is one of the short-term tricks with which you only deceive yourself.
5. Free yourself from pain without running away from it.
The previous steps have already achieved a lot. Thanks to them, you have found peace that cannot be achieved if you avoid avoiding being alone with pain over and over again.
All people are unique in their own way, and everyone knows what is capable of helping them and what is not. There are no solutions equally useful to everyone. There are no magic wands. This is the normal course of life.
6. You become more mature through pain (or in spite of).- Turn Pain Into Learning
“You need to understand that you existentially beyond your pain,” says Garcia-Monge. To transcend your pain means to acknowledge that you are not your pain, or rather, that you are not only your pain.
We are more than our pain. This means that we are aware that we have enormous resources that must be discovered and used in order to make life easier in this difficult transitional period – the time from pain to learning.
So, if you are going through difficult times, you should honestly listen to yourself. Accept that which belongs to you, and not to someone else, and accept yourself. After all, in the end, this is the process of teaching our lives.